When God Works, He WORKS.

Wow, I cannot believe the amazing and ridiculous things that have occurred within the last week. I have been surprised by God's power and might so much in the past few days that I can hardly stand it. I have never seen him work so obviously and so quickly in my life, and I am so grateful that all of this happened. Okay, here it is:

So, you all know that I have been a Women's Ministry major at school here for a couple years. Well, not anymore. Ever since I had such a huge issue trying to find an internship with that major I started thinking about changing my major. I didn't really think about it seriously until a couple weeks ago when I really started to research it. I realized that I would have to take a couple extra classes online and I would have to CLEP a few classes, but I knew that I was completely willing to do that in order to change my major, take the classes that I actually wanted to take, and do an internship that I would actually enjoy. I already knew that the Bible department head was okay with me switching, so I just needed to meet with the Pastoral department head to see if he was alright with it. He was, and so he signed my Change-Of-Major form, I took it to Academic Records, and the next day (Tuesday) I found out that I am now officially a Biblical Languages major! But wait, it gets better.

So, right after I turned in my form for the major change, Eric told me that his youth pastor had previously been looking for interns with the youth group for the summer. After I found out that everything had gone through, I called him up, and we decided that I would be going to Minnesota this summer to be an intern! So even though I thought that I was going to go home for the summer and work, God made the door of opportunity WIDE open, and I just had to walk through! And just wait, it gets better. Almost simultaneously as I found out that it was official that I would be working at the church this summer, my friend Heather texted me to tell me that her parents want to have me live with them while I'm an intern! Let me tell you, all of this was almost too much for me to handle. But that's not all that happened.

So, as you can tell, Eric are not going to be long-distance this summer as we had previously thought. This would not have worked out for all of this to have happened earlier in the semester because of where our relationship was. But the weekend prior to all of this happening we made a total shift in our relationship and are on a completely new and amazing level, which means that we are both totally comfortable with and excited about the fact that we're going to be together all summer.

And oh yes, there's more. After I informed my parents that I would not be spending the summer at home but would be living in Minnesota, my dad asked me if Eric would be interested in coming to Florida with us after graduation before we drive to Minnesota together. I didn't really think all that seriously about it, but decided I'd ask Eric if he'd like to go just for kicks. He actually was really interested in it, and decided that he wanted to go. Both sets of parents were in total favor of it, and even decided to help him pay for the majority of his expenses. So, not only are we going to spend the summer together, but he's also coming with my family and me to DisneyWorld!

Needless to say, this past week was incredibly overwhelming, and God's work throughout it was just completely obvious, wonderful, and almost unbelievable. I am now a total believer in the fact that God really does have perfect timing, and that he knows without a doubt what he is doing. He's never surprised by anything, but will wait until the circumstances and situations are perfect until he decides to make a big move.

Thank you God for this incredible opportunity. I don't deserve it, but I am so glad and blessed that you chose to reveal yourself in this way.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Strength of Mind.

Wow, it's been a while since I've posted... I guess I've either been busy, or I haven't done much that I think is worthy to be blogged about. Just a quick update:

I'm in the middle of my busiest time of the semester. Well, just about to start it. I have 2 quizzes tomorrow and an exam to take this weekend, plus I have an exam for my Self-Defense class, and a couple paper due next week. It's going to be very busy, that's for sure. To top it all off, the Junior-Senior banquet is this weekend, and while it's going to be fun, it just adds to the stress. I'm trying to take it all in stride though and figure out what the most important things are, so I can do those. I know I'll get everything done, but just like everything else this semester, I don't know how well I'll do on it. But anyway. For those of you who are interested, things are still going well with Eric. It was our 2-month anniversary on Saturday. :) I went home to Minnesota with him this past weekend for Easter, and it went well.

So anyway, now on to my rant....

So, I've been thinking a lot lately about how important it is for people to have strength of minds. What does this mean? Well, I see too often that people are just "silly." I'm speaking abut my own sex in this case, mostly. There is so much time spent talking about things that don't matter, such as shopping, celebrities, and which guy we think is cute. I'm really frustrated about this behavior. I mean, I guess I can see why and how it would happen since I have those tendencies myself sometimes, but I can't imagine filling my life with such meaningless things.

These things that we talk about all the time... I wonder if we realize that they're all just going to pass away? They don't do anything to up or to help us look heavenward, but rather they pull us back to this earth, which will not last. Not only is this the case, but these meaningless things that we put so much time and effort into don't even help our intelligence or success in life.

The kinds of things that we put our time and effort into reflect what we believe is really important in life. While a person who says that guys/girls are really not that important to them and they're okay with being single, the amount of time that they spend talking about them and being with them says differently.

I feel like my thoughts are just going everywhere at the moment, but it's something I'm really struggling through. What types of things do I think about, talk about, and dream out? Do I think, talk, and dream things that matter, or things that are absolutely meaningless?

Honestly, it doesn't matter if the guy on that sport's team is cute or not, or that celebrity is the best actor you've ever seen. It doesn't matter if you get the highest score on a facebook or video game, and it definitely doesn't matter if you own the most movies or not. It doesn't matter whether or not Jon is going to get custody of the kids from Kate, and it doesn't matter which celebrity is getting a divorce this week.

I cannot stress enough just how meaningless these things are. I'm not judging those who think these things are important (well, maybe a little), but I struggle with some of the exact same things. We get so focused on this world and what it has to offer that we forget what's really important.

So what is important then? Christ. No, we can't think about Christ constantly because we have other things going on in our lives, but if we make Christ of first importance, then we will be more able to prioritize correctly in the way that we should. Christ needs to be central in our lives. He needs to be who we strive after, and who we live for. In the end, nothing else matters. Absolutely nothing else. All that matters is what we did with our relationship with Christ, and how important we made him in our lives.

So, It's Been a While.

Hey guys... :) So, it's definitely been a while since I've posted anything on here, so I thought that I would go ahead and update everyone on what's going on in my life. I'm on spring break now, so I actually have time to do that, which is really nice.

First off, school has been absolutely insane this semester. I feel as though I'm barely staying above the waves, but by God's grace I'm still surviving. I've unfortunately gotten behind in a couple classes, but my professors are gracious and understanding, and just want me to do as best as I can under my circumstances. I never realized the difference that one more credit in my schedule would make. I've had 17 credit hours without any problem, but 18 is a whole different ball game. I think it's also the fact that I have harder classes this semester with more work, which makes me tired and stressed most of the time. All that being said though, I love my classes. I really do. I'm in the middle of memorizing the book of Romans right now, I've preached one sermon and another is in the works, I'm learning about the history of the American faith, I'm continuing to learn more Greek, and I'm learning how to defend myself as well. :) God is good in getting me through, and while I won't get the best grades this semester, I know that I've done as well as I can.

I don't know if I've mentioned it on here, but I'm the leader of a women's ministry called ZOE on campus. Basically, my job is to create and host events for the women on campus in order for them to be relaxed and to hear from great speakers. We had a professor speak in February, and I'm going to have another professor speak in April. Right now the women's ministry group as a whole is working on a dessert for the women on campus in March, and it's definitely time consuming. Who knew that creating such a large event would be so much work? I've been mostly in charge of advertisement, which is something that I really enjoy and I'm glad that I'm doing. It's just not easy to do in the midst of everything else I'm responsible for this semester, but all of us are in it together, and that's a great comfort.

As far as my summer plans go.... Things have been so confusing and have changed so many times. At first I wanted to intern at a publishing company, then I talked to the women's ministry director at Eric's church for a month and then found out that it won't work, and then I thought I was going to get full-time hours at the library, and I just found out yesterday that that's not going to work out either. This is definitely a time where I'm really confused, but where I know that I need to trust God and His plans. He's choosing not to reveal to me just yet what He wants, and while I don't know why, I know that I need to trust that He knows what's best. Once I get back from spring break I'm going to explore other job options and see what's available so I can still stay in Chicago.

So, now on to the present time. Right now I'm in Spokane visiting friends for the first weekend of spring break, and it's absolutely wonderful. I'm staying with my dear friends Hollie and Carter, and I couldn't be more blessed to be here. Hollie and I have really been able to bond over the past couple of days, and I've also been able to see and talk to a few other friends. It's definitely interesting being here after moving away so long ago (the last time I visited was October '08). While I'm really enjoying being here, there's definitely a disconnect because this is not my home anymore. It's clear that my home right now is Chicago, and this is not where God wants me to be. But it's still nice to catch up with friends and reconnect with them. Tomorrow I head back to Colorado for 12 days, and that will be really nice. It'll be good to see my family again and to hang out with high school and camp friends. Then on the very last weekend of spring break I'm flying up to Minnesota to visit Eric and his family, and I'm so excited for that.

Speaking of Eric... :) Just a short update. Things are going really well with us. We celebrated our one-month this past Wednesday, and we are both absolutely excited about what God has in store for us. We know that it's the early stages of our relationship (obviously), but God has done so much to allow us to open up to each other and really work through the baggage that we both come with. I am continually amazed by this man every day, and it's the hardest thing in the world to be away from him right now. All I want to do is hold his hand and know that he's there beside me, but I have to wait another 13 days for that. It may not sound like a long time at all, but when we're used to being around each other for at least some of every single day together, it feels a lot longer. Please continue praying for us, that we would seek God's will in everything continue to put Him at the center of our relationship.

Well, I guess that's all for now. If I've left anything out I'll just post another update soon, but I think that's pretty much all. Love you guys. <3

Curious Thoughts.

Hm.. I've been seeing a few things in the past few days that have really interested me and made me think. Well really it's just one thing, but I've seen it in multiple locations. These are pictures, especially on facebook and as profile pictures, of individuals singing praise music.

I, being the critic and cynic that I am, have found this really interesting, and it has caused me to wonder what the intentions are behind putting pictures up like that. I know that we should be willing and able to worship God in a public setting and do it unashamedly, but what is to be gained by posting a profile picture of yourself, raising your hands and singing?

I want to believe that the intentions are pure and right and good, but there's also a part of me that sees that and wonders how much of the intentions were from pride. Though we may not admit it and may not even know it consciously, is there part of us that wants people to see how "spiritual" we are? Call me cynical - that's fine. It's just something I have trouble with seeing the good intentions in.

Like I said, I want to believe that people have the right attitudes about it, and they just don't know how it might come across. But part of me sees those pictures and thinks that the person is saying, "Look at me, and how much I love Jesus. Aren't I so great?"

I don't know, maybe that's being too critical. But I definitely think it's something to think about. While it shouldn't be our main focus, we should be aware of how we come across to those around us, and that the things we do, while they may not seem like a big deal to us, could be perceived very differently by others.

Those are just my random thoughts for the day.

In other news... I am realizing just how blessed I really am. God has brought me through the darkest time of my life, and things are just so good right now. I know they won't always be, and there are still some difficult things going on, but I just feel so satisfied and content in my life right now. Even though classes are so busy and just absolutely ridiculous, I'm still loving them, and loving what I'm learning. I'm really excited to use what I've learned once I graduate. I'm also realizing more and more how great of a man my boyfriend is, and how blessed I am to have him in my life. This past Valentine's weekend was wonderful, and I'm just looking forward to seeing how God continues to work through us. We just worked it out last night to where I can go to Minnesota at the end of spring break to see him, and I am SO thrilled about that. It'll be so much fun to see where he comes from and why he is the way he is.

I also feel like I have the desire again to fully pursue God, and that's such a relief. I crave my time with him in the mornings, and I am completely enjoying learning more about him. I'm in the middle of memorizing Romans for a class right now, and it is so, so much more than just memorization. I have been so edified and so encouraged by what I'm memorizing, and it has just been so great.

God is so good. Really, He is. He is revealing more about Himself to me every day, and I am completely enjoying taking it in. God really does bring renewal and refreshment after struggles, and He reveals Himself in a new and wonderful way all the time. It's so true that when we seek Him, we will find Him. He will not hide from us when we are in our distresses and our troubles. It may be more difficult to see Him, but He's still there, and maybe even more present than ever.

Ready, set, GO.

So, it's day 2 of classes, which also means that it's day 2 of no Facebook for me. And so far, so good! Classes have been really good for me so far. I'm excited about all of them! I dropped Minor Prophets because it was going to be RIDICULOUS, and I'm going to be taking Romans instead. It's a required class, but I wasn't going to take it until next year. However, I'm okay with taking it this semester. The main assignment that I'll do for that class is memorize the ENTIRE book of Romans! How cool is that? It will take the place of a lot of other assignments in that class, had I not chosen to do the memorization. The first portion is due on the 18th of February, and it's 4 chapters. So I'd better get crackin'!

I have to say, I am SO excited about this semester. I said before that I was skeptical about being back, but if things keep going the way that they are, I should be okay. I've been able to see that there are people who actually really do care about me, and that's been nice to see. Right after lunch today I got a HUGE hug from one of the guys I work with, and that was really encouraging. I've also been really proactive in eliminating drama in my life, including someone who said that he wanted to have coffee with me in order to work out a "problem." Without giving much detail, this guy and I are no longer friends, and haven't been since October. Because of that, I don't see any problem to work out, and I told him that I was uncomfortable meeting with him because I didn't think it would solve any problems, but make things worse because I knew that I shouldn't actually see him face-to-face. I don't know if he understood or not but regardless, I did what I needed to in order to cut down on the drama.

I know that this semester is going to be hard enough academically, and that's why I'm taking these steps. I have to become healthy emotionally in order to succeed academically. Some people don't understand why I've taken a month off of Facebook, but that's a huge part of it. In no way, shape, or form do I judge anyone who is on there all the time, because I'm normally one of those people. But for my own health right now the best thing for me to do is to not be part of that social network.

Anyway, that's it for now. I have Self-Defense in 15 minutes, so I need to head over to the gym. Love you all. :) I would love to keep in touch with my friends while I'm not on Facebook, so don't be afraid to call, text, or email me. All that info is on my profile. Bye for now!

Update.

Well, it's been a few days so I guess I'll give an update on everything that's going on. I got back to Chicago on Tuesday afternoon, and it was pretty annoying trying to get my luggage. The display board had my flight up, and then all of a sudden it disappeared, so there was a good 20 of us at least who were wandering around, trying to figure out where our luggage was supposed to come out. After a few phone calls to my dad and trying to see if it was updated on the internet and a lot of confusion, the board was finally updated and I was able to get my bag. I was pretty worried for a while, though!

It was nice once I actually got back on campus. I really don't like travelling to and from the airport. It's a pain in the butt. So when I actually got to my room, it was really nice to just relax and not have to worry about anything.

I was really skeptical about being back though, and I still am. I don't want this semester to be like the last one in any way. I am determined to be proactive and intentional about making my semester different. The past few days have been good, though. All of the new students are moved in, and they seem really nice. Especially the new girls on my floor - I think I'm going to like them. :)

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So this semester is going to be one full of A LOT of busyness and stress, but I'm going in with guns blazing. I have 18 credits, a women's ministry to head up, an internship to design, and other miscellaneous things to do. I'm really looking forward to seeing how God decides to work and reveal Himself in my life throughout this time. I also am beginning to have more of a direction with my life, and I'm so excited about that.

Let me explain a little bit more: over break, I began getting questions about what I want to do after graduation, since I only have 3 semesters left. For a while I had absolutely no idea, so I began to think of how I could possibly use my degree in Women's Ministry and Biblical Languages. Then it hit me: I love to write. (Hence, the blog). I really want to begin refining my skills, because once I graduate Moody, I'm looking at going to grad school for Journalism. What I would really like to do is write for a Christian publishing company after school. So in order to do that, I need to get my masters. I'm not sure exactly where I want to go, but what I do know is that I want to go somewhere totally different. I would love to end up somewhere where I don't know anyone at all, and I have to start completely fresh. That just sounds like a wonderful idea to me. :) I've been considering maybe somewhere in Dallas or Oregon. I still need to research schools obviously, but yeah.

Earlier I talked about designing an internship, and that relates to my desire to work for a publishing company. For the Women's Ministry major the internship is designed specifically for a church setting, but if I design it well enough I might be able to get approval from my advisor. Please be praying with me on this! I think it would be a great opportunity to do that internship because it would directly correlate with what I want to do after I graduate. If I got this internship it would also mean though that I wouldn't be at camp next summer, but that's a sacrifice I am willing to make in order to do what's best for my future. I guess we'll just have to see where God leads and directs, eh? :)

Anyway, I think that's enough of an update for now. I'm sure I'll have more to update about once classes begin. I'm gonna get back to my Systematic Theology reading now....

Last week of classes already?

Wow, I can't believe how quickly this semester went. It's pretty ridiculous, actually. I feel as though I just got here a little while ago, and now it's already time to leave for Christmas break. And I have to say... I'm not really upset by that fact.

To be completely honest, this has been the worst semester that I have ever had. So many things have happened in my life that makes me want to crawl in a hole and not come out for a very, very long time. Part of those things have been my fault, but I can't blame myself for everything that has happened.

It's these kinds of situations (losing friendships/relationships) that make it really difficult for me to trust God. Does He really have the best for me? Does He really know what He's doing? The question is of course yes, He does. He's God, after all. But for some reason, I just have such a difficult time trusting Him when I'm going through one of the most trying times that I have ever experienced. It's like I have all this head-knowledge, but not the heart-knowledge that God is good and knows what He's doing, and it's the hardest thing in the world to make that transfer of knowledge from the head to the heart.

I wish I could end this on a happy note and say "God is good" or "I'm getting through it." But honestly, those are just cliche Christian answers that people give so that no one will see how much they're really hurting. I don't want to do that, because sometimes you just can't pretend like everything's okay when it's really not.

I'm thankful for the upcoming break from school. Hopefully it'll give me a chance to clear my head and remember who God is. I'll be spending a few days alone at my sister's place because she and her husband are going to California, and I'm really looking forward to that. I'm really desperate for time with God so we can sort things out.

Please pray for me. While I have friends to talk to in order to help me push through, it's still not easy and I'm still struggling.