Yes, yesterday I received a kick in the pants from my wonderful Savior. And that's not sarcasm, that's not mockery, it's the truth. Yesterday I wrote a blog talking about how lonely I felt, and how I didn't understand why God would feel so far away. And then I basically mocked the "spiritual" answers to why I was feeling lonely and said that we overspiritualize things sometimes. Well.... God had my answer today for why I don't feel as close to Him, and it was definitely spiritual and it was definitely very convicting.
I have become lukewarm.
This really is a disturbing fact. Before now, I had become comfortable in my Christianity. I had thought that I really didn't need that much alone time with God, and I didn't really need to get into His Word that often because I'm already getting in it all the time for my classes. I figured that was enough. But now I'm realizing that it's not. It's not enough to do that, because where's my real pursuit of my Savior? Where's the romance with Him? It has vanished.
I need to get back to my first Love. I need to make Him my first priority, and I need to love Him above anything and anyone else in my life. I need to stopping wishing that I had more material things and more of the things that I want in my life, and be grateful for all the incredible blessings that He has given me. He has given me a wonderful family, wonderful friends, and an amazing school to go to. He has allowed me to have a job, be healthy, and have the ability to get in shape. I have an awesome ministry opportunity this summer, and I can't take that for granted.
I have taken so many things in my life for granted lately. I've told God that the things that He's done isn't enough, and I've tried to get things my own way. I've run after possible relationships, money, and friends. I need to stop this. Right now. I need to trust that God knows what He's doing in my life, and He has the ultimate plan. I need to stop trusting in myself and start trusting in the One who is actually going to fix my life, not mess it up even more.
I need to run into the arms of my Savior.