Drat.

Well, I have a confession to make. I tried to drink decaf coffee tonight, hoping that it was the caffeine that affected me rather than the coffee itself. Unfortunately, my hopes were in vain. :( I'm still getting shaky, and now I have little chest pains and my stomach is startiong to do funky things.

Oh, the annoyances of having U.C. :( Oh well, I suppose. Such is life. I'm guessing I'm going to be limiting my diet even more in the future, but we'll see what happens. So far it's been pretty good - I've only had to stop having coffee and eating breakfast sausage (random, I know). God has been good with this disease, but we'll see what happens as things continue on.

Anyway, that's all for now.

<3

Coffeeshop Blues.

So, I haven't talked about this yet to my blogger friends, but.... I can no longer drink coffee.

This is a very sad thing. I've been off of coffee for about 5 days now, and I may lose my mind. Going to Joe's (the campus coffee shop) is just depressing now, because all I really like are steamers, creme frappes, and sweet tea. Without coffee, everything is just too sweet. I want that espresso "edge" back in my drink.

And it's days like this -- cold, cloudy, and dreary -- where I would just love to curl up with a book and a nice, hot vanilla latte and look outside from my warm and comfy spot inside. Alas, I'm now stuck with hot chocolate and tea. Don't get me wrong, both of these can be decadent and flavorful, but it's just not the same as coffee. Too much of a sweet drink just makes my stomach sick (and unfortunately, coffee does the same thing. It just tastes better when I drink it).

That's all I really have.. I'll update on my progress of my coffee detox and the withdrawal period.... I know that I was addicted, but so far it hasn't been too difficult to stay away from it. We'll see how I feel once winter begins to creep closer and closer. It may very well be that coffee begins to be more and more desirable the colder it gets outside. What a lovely struggle THAT will be...

PS - It's highly ironic, but even though I can't drink coffee, I really want to decorate our kitchen with a coffee theme. We'll see how that one goes over.

One more.

Well, I decided to write again, since I haven't updated everyone on my life for a while now.

Let's see... Where to begin...

Well, Eric and I have been engaged for a month and 5 days now, and it feels so crazy to think about that. :) I'm finally getting used to my ring on my finger, but I am still often very struck by how gorgeous it is and how much it sparkles. :)

While it's amazing that we're getting married and everything, I've also realized just how many misconceptions I had about engagement and about other people during the engagement period. Eric and I still have things to work through in our relationship (and I'm sure we will for the rest of our lives), but things have taken on a different tone now that both of us still have to get used to. I also thought that people would start seeing our relationship as more legitimate than when we were just boyfriend and girlfriend, but for some reason people are still so quick to make assumptions about the "termination" of our relationship. For example, I told a couple people about a really bad day that I had a few weeks ago, and when I told them that it was a really bad day, their first assumption was that either something was wrong with the engagement, or that Eric and I had called it off. I'm not really sure where that came from since I've never even remotely hinted at it, but alas, I guess people still think that we could do that.

In a way, it does make sense. I guess engagements do get called off from time to time, but Eric and I both have the same mindset that no matter what, we are in this for the rest of our lives, and for that I am grateful. The engagement was definitely a bigger decision for me than the wedding. In my opinion, the wedding is more of a formality, because I'm already totally committed to Eric in my heart. The wedding is just going to make that previous commitment official, instead of deciding to make that commitment on that day.

Speaking of the wedding, wedding plans are coming along nicely. We already have a beautiful location, we're working on our wedding website and our registry, we have the bridal party set, and I have my dress chosen! I have to wait until Christmas break to actually buy it, but I know exactly which one I want, and I'm so excited about it. During Christmas we're also going to be working on the save-the-dates and the invitations, so it's definitely going to be a very busy time with my family. I'm excited about it though, because it'll be nice to get those things done before the semester starts so I can be at least a little less stressed about everything.

I'm so excited for the wedding, and so bummed that it's still 209 days away. I'm really excited about getting into the 100s, though. I think that'll make it feel at least a little closer. :)

I guess that's about it for now. School is going well - it's winding down for the semester (or winding up, if you look at the workload) so I have a lot of stress and work with that, but I know God is faithful, and he'll give me the energy and strength to get it done. I really like that about Him.

Oh, and I was talking to Eric tonight, and I realized that I really need to learn how to cook... Anybody want to teach me or can recommend a good cookbook for me to start testing recipes? I think I'm going to have a designated night at least once a week next semester where I try a new recipe. Let me know if any of you have any suggestions. :)

<3

Worship. (Part 1)

So, for my Senior Seminar class we have to read a Biblical Studies book with 2 other people in a group and present it to the class in a few weeks, and my group chose the book Recalling the Hope of Glory by Alan P. Ross. Oh my goodness, this book is amazing. I've only gotten through part one so far, but I have already been convicted about my definition of the word "worship" and how American worship works and how it often falls short of being biblical. In his book Ross says,

The popularly named renewal movement has been trying to bring life back into worship services. Now more and more frequently congregations are (literally) faced with 'worship teams' - which actually are a number of singers and musicians - who function as leaders for the time of worship (the time of worship refers to the music and praise leading up to the rest of the service). The music is usually contemporary, and he praise brief exclamations. But these times of worship, even though involving the congregation, often follow a set pattern at a particular time in the service with repetitious songs. Thus, in fact, a new form of liturgy has emerged, which may be every bit as predictable and repetitious as prayer book worship. And the brief expressions of thanks between choruses are a far cry from the clear and rich praises and thanksgivings that the devout psalmists offered in the assembly of the righteous. Without solid biblical content in the music, in the readings, and in the sermon, it is no wonder that the church has produced a crop of inarticulate Christians.

I really don't have anything else to add to that. I think that Alan Ross said it all. American Christianity has been so watered down that we don't understand the true richness of worship anymore, and we have skewed the definition to simply mean a time on Sunday mornings when we stand up and sing songs before the sermon. Worship is so much more than that, and I am so excited to find out more. I'll definitely be posting more blogs about this.