Have you ever felt lonely, even though you're surrounded by tons of people? That's exactly how I'm feeling right now. I'm around people all the time, and lots of people know who I am. But all the relationships with those people are completely superficial. I just don't feel like I have many real friendships here. I feel as though if I stopped trying so hard with people, I would completely disappear... Besides people that I work in ministry with, I don't know if people would really notice if I were gone.
I hate that feeling. Because I should know that it's not true.I should know that people care about me. I just... don't right now. I don't see the evidence of it, and maybe that's because I'm just blinded. I don't know.
I just feel alone. And the pat, cliche answer of God always being there for us doesn't really help. It's just such an easy answer for everyone to give. But I just want some friends. Why are they so hard to find? I don't want superficial relationships anymore. I want deep, meaningful ones. Why is no one interested in a deep friendship with me? It just baffles me.
Ugh. I wish I didn't feel like this. I wish I could just be happy all the time. Maybe it's the weather getting to me... I don't know. We'll see how the next few days play out, I suppose.
Hey i'm Kieran's roommate he sent me the link to your blog. Just feel led to remind you of your saviours love for you and fimilarity with your experience Isaiah 53 tells us he was a man of sorrows aquianted with much grief in his hours of greatest need of company and comfort his best friends couldn't stay wakened his forefather David was also a man familiar with sorrow and he reminds us that our God is close to the brokenhearted. Jesus loves you sister and he is closer than a brother.
ReplyDeleteI've felt this exact way for about 3 years now. I'm waiting for my close friendship to show up too.
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