Second post of the day - I know.

Wow. Isn't it amazing how God works? He seems to work quickly in my life at certain points. I asked Him to speak to me, and He did. As I was just about to start this blog, I was going to start off with saying, "I am afraid."

And then I started listening to the song playing on my iTunes. At the exact moment that I was about to type my first sentence, these words played:

I don't wanna be afraid, I don't wanna run away

Wow. Even though the rest of the song doesn't really pertain to my situation, it still hit me. Hard. Because even though this situation that I'm in really sucks and I don't know which way to go and I don't know how I'm supposed to be feeling, I can't be afraid, and I can't run away. I need to face what's going on even though it could hurt. It could hurt A LOT.

I guess though this is a time where I just need to wait on God. I need to wait on His timing. I am always so impatient, but my Pastor today reminded all of us that we need to wait for God to open the door, and not become impatient and go through the door of compromise instead. I have done that way too many times in my life. I can't do that anymore. I need to wait on God. I need to be patient and wait for His timing. And that may very well include denying myself of some of the things that I want. If I actually want what God wants, I'll be faithful and wait for His timing. I'll wait for Him to work instead of trying to take things into my own hands.

God's growing me. He's molding and shaping me. He's making me into the woman that He wants me to be. I need to be teachable. I need to be willing to allow Him to work. He wants to work in me. He wants to change me to become more like Him. So why is it so hard to just let Him do that? I need to love Him more than I love my desires. I need to love Him more than I love myself. I need to love Him more than I love my hopes and my dreams.

He needs to be everything. He needs to be my all. I need to run wholeheartedly after Him and not look back.

"Pieces"

I'm here again
A thousand miles away from you
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I've lost so much along the way

Then I'll see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole

I've come undone
But you make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in your eye

Then I'll see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole!

I tried so hard! So hard!
I tried so hard!

Then I'll see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
So you can make me whole