Wednesday, June 5, 2013

The Bikini Question - My Response of Anger and Total Disagreement.

Just so everyone knows, this post is not health-related. Rather, it is related to an article that I read last week that was very upsetting to me - this is my response to it. I posted it on Facebook last week, so some of you may have already read it. I wanted to post it here as well. Thanks. :)


If you haven't read the article on "The Bikini Question", read it here: 

This is my response to and utter disagreement with it (and I will be putting this as a comment as soon as the website is able to accept comments again).


I am absolutely livid about this article. It is so, so, so wrong on so many levels.

1. I am completely against this whole "chocolate cake" illustration. First of all, it is assuming that men are tempted 24/7 by everything around them, and that it's only a matter of time until they give in. Secondly, it places the blame for the lust on the woman (it's the cake's fault for being there in the first place). Thirdly, I completely disagree with the idea that if we are confronted with a temptation all the time then it is only a matter of time until we give in. NO. This is why we have Christ. 

Scripture was not  used in this article, so I will use it now:

Hebrews 5:14-16
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Those scriptures are a segway to my second point: 

2. The chocolate cake illustration implies that men are unable to use self-control. It assumes that women HAVE to help them, because they are unable to lean on Christ without our help. Nope. That is not true. Christian men have every ability (through Christ) to stand up under their temptations. They are not helpless. How dare we as women assume that we (as fallen human beings) need to “help” them in their walk because they are too weak to do it themselves? How dare we assume that men just can’t control their appetites and we need to remove all signs of temptation because they are unable to have self-control? This is so, so false.

3. There is absolutely no way that women can make EVERYONE happy by the way they dress. I absolutely guarantee that no matter what women wear, there is SOMETHING about our outfits that can distract men. We can make all the legalistic rules in the world, but if we were to try and not be distracting for anyone, we would be walking around with burlap sacks on. And I guarantee some men would STILL be distracted. No one can ever win with this kind of thinking.

Hear me out: I am against dressing for the purpose of attracting attention. However... there is no way we can (or should) judge the hearts and intentions of women based on what they choose to wear. That is between them and God. It is not for other people to judge why they decide to wear what they do, or to even tell women what they can and cannot wear.

If we reduce this issue to a list of rules and judge women for wearing leggings, bikinis, etc., then we become incredibly legalistic and we lose the heart of the issue. YES. Women are SO MUCH MORE than what they wear. But that goes both ways! They are SO MUCH MORE, and should absolutely not be judged solely by their clothing choices, whether you think it’s “modest enough” or not. Get to know the heart of women. Learn about them. If they have a lifestyle of wearing clothing intended to attract attention, DON’T JUDGE THEM. Lovingly guide them towards Christ and show them that who they are inside is enough. And if they are secure in that fact and their clothing choices still don’t change, DON’T JUDGE THEM. It’s not our place. Focus on your choices, your intentions, and your limits. Not everyone else’s.

I respect your decision not to wear bikinis. That is your decision and your right. But it is also my decision and my right to wear a bikini if I want to, because I’m not convicted otherwise. That’s the material point. If you are convicted not to wear something, great. Follow your convictions. But don’t push your personal convictions onto other people, especially in the form of a list of rules.

(Sidenote, the issue of modesty is completely cultural. Down in Haiti, everyone is extremely modest there. However, in Europe, beaches are FULL of bikinis and speedos, and it’s not a big deal. There are also tribes in Africa where women don’t wear tops. There are no set rules on what “modesty” is.)

Finally, here is a quote from someone (a man) who commented on the article. He said everything I want to say:
"In closing, if someone just can't help but be offended or lust while you're in a bikini, and you are made aware of it directly, then wear a one-piece out of love for them, to create peace, and to help them not stumble; but do not make the mistake of believing the bikini itself, or drinking alcohol, or eating meat is unclean or evil. Furthermore do not make the mistake of believing that a one piece is somehow more holy (someone could actually have a sensual lust for a fully covered body and be excited by the mystery). Likewise, If you are not made aware of the other person being offended or stumbling, it is not your fault that they lust in their heart because it is in their personal heart regardless of what you wear, eat, drink, or do."

1 comment:

  1. Thanks! Love that quote at the end, too! I was shocked one evening when my husband & I were gonna fool around & I asked him what he'd like me to wear & he said, "a sports bra." I was like, "dude, I have a drawer full of AWESOME lingerie." But, he liked the mystery, even though he's seen me That made me stop & think, & filled me with peace.

    I don't flirt with guys or catwalk, or act all sensual in public, & now that I know a guy might get a little excited watching me bike in a sports bra & tank top, & feel very freed from worrying about clothes, b/c I know my behavior is respectful & that there is NO WAY to eliminate lust from any heart other than my own :)


Thanks for visiting my blog, friends! Let me know you were here by writing a note, if you'd like! Love you all! :)