This man, Scott (his name has been changed), lives in the darkness. The scary part is however, that he does not know that he lives in the darkness. He truly believes he lives in the light, even though he lives the homosexual lifestyle, his life is his money, and he smokes, parties, and gets drunk every weekend. Because we no longer talk anymore, all I can do is pray for him.
Do you know how hard that is? Not knowing if my prayers are being answered, not knowing if they are making any difference at all... It's definitely a struggle for me. Sometimes I have trouble knowing that God is faithful and He will answer my prayers according to His will. All I want is for Scott to come to know the Lord. Unlike a lot of Christians, my first prayer is not that he will stop living the homosexual lifestyle. If he does not know the Lord, then praying that he will change his behavior will do no good. I must pray that God reveals Himself to him, and that he will come into a saving relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.
Do I sometimes wish things were different and that I could be the one to influence his life for Christ and help him along the path to salvation? Absolutely. But as it is, God has placed me in this situation for a reason, and though I do not understand, I must be faithful and pray for Scott from a distance.
I love him. He has always been dear to me, and no matter what he says, no matter what he does, that's not going to change. I know that it's not by my own will that I love him, so please don't think that I am bragging or making myself seem high and mighty. Scott has treated me very, very poorly in the past, and I know that there have been times when I have not wanted anything to do with him, and when I have even thought that he deserves whatever he gets.
But then I realized that this is not right thinking. I am called to remember that he is a lost sheep, and God wants to bring him to Himself. I have been praying for him for so long, that it feels like nothing is ever going to change. But I know that God is faithful, and I believe that He has promised to change Scott's heart. I am going to hold on to that promise with everything that I have. Seeing Scott cross the line of salvation and fall in love with Jesus Christ would be the greatest gift I could ever receive.
Oh God, reveal yourself to him. Give him such a startling encounter with You that he cannot help but know that it is you. Do whatever You need to in order to bring him to Yourself. I call upon You, Lord. Be with him. Draw near to him, and allow him to draw near to You. I know that You are faithful, Lord. I know that You can do what You have promised, and I want to call upon that promise right now. Give him the eyes he needs in order to see You, Lord. Give him the ears to hear Your word in a new and fresh way, and give him the courage to come to faith in You and to turn his life around. In Your name, Amen.