Thursday, October 18, 2012

It's a Mess.

Life... Has been... insane. To put it lightly.

Work and my personal life has just been crazy. I am so ready for things to settle down, but I have an idea that it's not going to happen anytime soon.

But I digress. This post isn't about me, and isn't about how crazy life is.

It's about the messiness of relationships.

Seriously, has anybody else realized how incredibly messy relationships are? Seriously, every time I try to make a relationship not messy, I somehow seem to make it worse. They're so complex and convoluted. It's rare to have a relationship with someone that is simple, or to think about a relationship in a simple manner.

Through all of this crud that we've been dealing with in our friend's divorce, it's become incredibly difficult not to become completely bitter and resentful towards the (now ex-) wife because of her actions and attitude in this situation. It's just messy. I wish there were a manual on how to deal with people and how to feel about people in any and every situation.... but there's not. Every relationship and situation is different.

However... I think I know how I should think and feel about this woman. I need to still love her. I need to pray for her. I need to beg Christ to intervene in her life and rescue her from this hurtful and sinful lifestyle.

But honestly, because of the messiness of life and this situation, I don't want to. Right now, I want to be angry with her. I want to yell at her and tell her exactly what I think about what she's doing. Don't get me wrong, I know that anger is not wrong in and of itself, but I also know that my bitterness towards her is wrong and needs to be changed.

I talked with a friend today who reminded me that she needs Christ, and she needs someone to intervene in her life. She is a broken person and needs the Lord so desperately. I'm so bad at feeling compassion for people - really, I am. It's so much easier to have compassion for the innocent... but not the guilty. I tend to have the attitude of "well, they're going to get what they deserve," instead of feeling pain over how destructive their life is.

But then I realize... who am I to say that? I'm ridiculously imperfect. I'm a broken person as well. No, I've never lived in a long period of unrepentant sin, but I can't say that I've never had unrepentant sin in my life. I absolutely have lived in a few-month period where I wasn't sorry for the things I was doing. Who am I to condemn her? I am not innocent. I am not perfect.

As angry as I believe I should be about what she did and what she's doing, I need to pray for her. I need to love her. I need to see her as Christ sees her. I need to have a soft heart towards her.

Let me tell you... That's easier said than done. I wish I had answers.

Anyone have any answers or thoughts they'd like to share? I welcome them gladly...

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