Eric is gone this weekend, which - even though I really miss him - has given me a chance to be alone, and I'm actually enjoying the solitude for now. I know that when he comes back tomorrow I'm going to be really excited to see him, but for now... I'm enjoying the solitude. I've been productive for the most part - I started my online classes and I'm going to clean tomorrow after church - and then when I started pondering life, it just felt... wonderful.
The more busy I get, the more things that Eric and I do, the more I forget about the importance of alone time every once in a while. I get too busy for rest - so when I do try to rest, it doesn't really work. One of my friends posted a quote on Facebook the other day that really stood out to me:
"...getting eight hours of sleep may very well be the most holy thing we do as followers of Jesus. It’ll help keep us from making ourselves and everyone around us miserable. Busyness, hurry, and over-commitment are not badges of honor. On the contrary, they are indicative of a sick soul."
I am so, so guilty of being over-committed in my life. I expect something to be happening all the time - otherwise... I'm not a good Christian, and I'm not as holy as other people. Either that, or I'm not as good of a worker and I'm not going to succeed. Both of these are absolute lies. God gave us the ability to sleep for a reason, and we have a certain number of hours of sleep that we should get for a reason. For so long I've ignored this (college does that to a person), but the more I think about it, the more I realize that it is so important. Last night I got 10 hours of sleep, and it was magnificent. I have been so behind on sleep lately that my body has just been fatigued and I've felt irritable and grumpy, which is definitely not a good sign.
I don't want to have a sick soul. I want to treasure my relationship with the Lord, with Eric, and with everyone else around me. I want to be able to give the people I'm with and the things that I'm doing 100% of my attention instead of being worried about how tired I am, how exhausted I feel... etc. The care for one's soul is of utmost importance, and yet... it's often neglected. I don't want to do that anymore.
I want peace... peace for my soul, peace that doesn't just last for a moment, but peace and rest that comes from making my relationship with the Lord my priority and taking care of myself like I should by making time for rest a priority.
However... Rest doesn't just mean sleep. It means taking time out of my day to sit. To read. To listen to calming music. To stop worrying about the stresses of life and just... be.
When was the last time you allowed yourself to just be? To just sit, ponder, be creative, relax? If it's been a while... I highly suggest taking even just half an hour to quiet your heart and mind, be still, and just... be.